USA and Macedonia declare ruthless war for the largest pot of baked beans

Cook beans not war

Who will cook more beans? Will it be Saracievo, a village near Stip, Macedonia, or Pinson, Alabama? It is no more a question of beating the opponent in cooking the incredible several tonnes of beans in a monstrous pot. It is a question of pride and national dignity that, according to unofficial sources, may rise to national level. So, where does this love for beans come from? Older villagers claim the tradition of cooking beans has lasted for centuries, and it is the beans that contributes to their wit, wisdom in making everyday decisions, excellent memory and a perfect digestive system.

It all started several years ago when people from Saracievo, Macedonia and Pinson, Alabama, found out about each other’s existence through the Guinness Book of Records. As the years went by, their competition got even more heated, but modest resources allowed for only a few hundred of kilograms of beans more in the pot. This year inhabitants of Saracievo decided to roll their sleeves up. Vineyards were left unsprayed, fields unploughed, and a local businessman D.S. generously donated funds in order to deliver a final blow to their enemy, a blow that will keep them away from the thought of cooking another pot of beans for years to come. So the good people of Saracievo, renowned for their persistence, cooked 5,5 tonnes of beans, almost 2 tonnes more than the previous record.

Good news travels fast so, even Mexicans, who are famous for their numerous recipes for preparing beans, were ashamed. The nation eagerly awaited the Guinness Book of Records representative, Mr. Loewen Langsdorf, to confirm the record. Evil tongues called for a thorough investigation into the quality of the beans that is equally important as the quantity. Witnesses say a miracle happened at that moment. A huge cloud of methane rose from Saracievo, stretching over Stip and eastern Macedonia. Modern science does not know a more credible proof, a proof acknowledged by all Guinness conventions. Sadly, Balkon3 team was not courageous enough to check this information, so we can only tell what others have told us. We claim, with great certainty, that people from neighbouring villages could not sleep for days, disturbed by loud thunder strikes coming from Saracievo…5,5 tonnes os beans…

Darko Chekerovski