Guide to SKOPJE

Good Balkan jokes



A German, a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Greek are commenting about a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The German says “Look at the perfect bodies, she is tall and blond, he is so athletic and muscular…they must be German.”

Immediately the Frenchman reacts “I don’t believe it, there is a clear eroticism coming out of both figures. She is so feminine…he is so masculine…They know that soon they will meet with temptation…They must be French.”

The Englishman disapproves. “Observe. The calm expression on their faces, the subtleness in their posture, the sensible movements. They can only be English.”

And the Greek yells “I disagree! These people are absolutely Greek! Look at it carefully: Adam has no pants on. They are both barefoot. They sleep under a tree. They only have an apple to eat. They don’t protest. And on top of it, they believe they live in Paradise!“


The Elephant asks the Dinosaur, “Did Noah make you a friend-request?”

 – No!

 – That’s bad news…


A husband asks his wife:  “What’s for lunch? I’m hungry.”

The wife says: “Nothing.”

The husband goes: “We also had nothing for lunch yesterday.”

The wife: “Well, you know me. I always make a meal to last for two days.”


Several married couples are having a dinner party and start talking about how they quarrel with their spouse… and amid the discussion they turn to one of the guests and say: “We always fight and shout and we’ve never seen you and your wife have an argument or raise your voice. How do you manage to do that?”

“Um, How…? Well, we made an agreement when we got married about some basic things and we stick to it, and that’s it…”

“So, what is your agreement?” the others asked.

“We agreed that my wife will decide on all smaller and not so important matters and I will decide on the big, important matters.”


“Well, there hasn’t been anything so big and important so far…”


– “Why in the Republic of Macedonia they don’t go further from Chalkidiki for holidays?”
– “Because the packet from home with cheese and tomato doesn’t last for longer”

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